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13 by Virgolass
no saturn_return, it's not unwelcome...it's just you and 1000Camels are saying the exact opposite.

So, I called him one last time this mornign, gave him directions to my rugby match (he had mentioned maybe wanting to see it) and I guess that's all I can do. I'm really annoyed though.

Re: Love and Self-doubting

14 by SunPluto
Virgolass wrote:So, for the last several months I've been really trying to let my saturn transit through the fifth house and conjunct my node to boot, do it's thing and teach me all about restructuring my outworn views on realtionships. Always wanted too much too soon, always settled because I was lonely, and so i was really in "the groove" of my saturn transit and just started "having fun". Flirting, going out on dates and not getting bent out of shape when things fell apart, just having a darn good time and being damn picky about the men I dated.

Enter C. This was an unfair, Saturn sneak attack. I met C. through an online dating service about a week after I had decided to let my subscription expire because, frankly, the men I was meeting via that service were boorish idiots. We conversed on the phone a few times and I found him a little annoying. But we went out anyway and...wow! Perhaps the most brilliant, intelligent, talented, artistic, and handsome person I've ever met.

We had a wonderful first date on Friday and made plans to see each other again on Sunday...which he later had to cancel because his research was not done yet (he's a very focused scientist). But he asked if I could give a rain check for later in the week when the project was done and he was in a better mood. Of course I agreed. (this was Sunday night)

So, trying oh so hard to learn my Saturn lesson and not pester/come on to strong/annoy. But I couldn't resist the temptation of the phone...So I sent him a clever little joke via text message that I thought only two geeks like us would find funny. And I thought about sending a second one...but then I worried that this might come across as irritating.

So I asked "Should I keep in touch with these silly jokes, or wait for him to call me now?"

Tuesday April 11, 1:37 pm, Bethesda, Maryland.

Leo Rising at 9.25. (another question I asked about how our first date would go also had leo rising at about 9 degrees...so I took this consistency as a good sign.)

also, with the sun in the term of mercury, and me being a virgo, I took this as an additional sign of reliability.

The sun is in the face of venus, while saturn is in the term of venus.

Saturn is in the first house, retrograde moving closer to the ascendant...suggests that maybe he is coming my way without any help from me. The sun is trine Saturn, but it's a close separating trine...our date four days ago? Jupiter also creates a grand trine between the sun and saturn and rules my fifth house of romance. Jupiter and Saturn are applying in trine. only two degrees apart. More romance in two somethings? The first date was very romantic (exotic thai food in a candle lit restaurant, and then a private piano concert) so maybe these creative influences are coming back in the form of a second date?

The moon is in early aquarius in the term of Saturn...yes, I like him. and the moon will not perfect any major aspect until crossing into the seventh house where it will first oppose saturn and then trine jupiter.

So I'm seeing some delay and frustration with the opposition, but a positive result over all.

So over all the prospects of romance look good...but what about the original question? Should I send him another joke, or not?! Also, Am I missing anything? Is there something in here that screams "this guy isn't into you?" because the paranoid part of me is really having a hard time fathoming how anyone this great could be interested in little boring me.
Hello
Astrology aside - My impression is the guy is not that into you. Don't send messages, or wait for him to call. Focus your energies into to positive thoughts and see what happens.

16 by Virgolass
UPDATE: Thanks for all the advice. I'm giving up, yet again. This always happens. Guys ask me out, tehy seem very interested, and then they disappear. And in retrospect, there was a lot with this person, as pretty and shiny as the wrapping paper was, that indicates he would have been a bad match anyway (that neptune). I was distracted by a pretty person who played the piano and not seeing the emotionally cold, self centered person in front of me. Oh well. Lesson learned.

18 by 1000Camels
Hi Virgolass,
I want to continue to relate my responses directly to your horary chart, which I believe shows the entire situation rather than simply the effects of a text message. Perhaps that Sun in so much dignity was saying "Don't be afraid to follow your gut." Intuition is also signified by the 9House if I'm not mistaken. The fact that you even felt you needed to do a horary was a sign that things were not great with this man.

About my earlier posts, I'm not certain that me and SunPluto or SaturnReturn are saying different things. Sure, there are shy, reserved men who need encouragement from a woman. I think a woman can only encourage the pursuit however, she should not do the pursuing, certainly not at the outset. Phone calls, too much talking, long e-mails, all that wordiness makes a woman seem as though she is doing the chasing whether thats what she intends or not. This puts her at a disadvantage because it makes her appear needy in the eyes of males, as if she's looking for a guy to fulfill some empty space.

I think that guy just wasn't into you like SunPluto said, and it took you both a couple of dates to figure that out. Being signified by the Sun means you are a good woman with much to offer. But your annoyance was a signal that you should not ignore, and it too is related to the Sun in Aries. You posted here not too long ago that you are deploying in a few months to Iraq, I can't imagine what that must be like for you. But this also is the Sun in Aries.

It's not a surprise that you would like to have some romantic fun in the meantime before you head out to war (Sun trine 5H Jupiter). However, just as you have intuition, so do your dates. They may be able to tell that there's alot going on beneath the surface with you and your work right now (6House Moon in Aquarius) and they may not feel confident enough to go there with you (Saturn Rx in Leo). The Sun is strong but the other side--the Moon--is weak and decreasing in light. It shows that emotionally, you are not feeling so strong, in fact you may be feeling quite needy.

Moreover, Neptune (confusion, self-deception, romance, imagination, illusion) is generally malefic in horary, and he is prominent here in your chart. He is in your 7House.

I may be way off the mark: it may be that you are looking/expecting your dates to give you something (Sun partile! sextile Neptune=pleasure and reassurance) which you must give to yourself (Moon soon to conjunct Neptune=the inner peace of reassuring oneself emotionally).

Don't lose sight of that Sun as your primary significator, it shows that you are really strong. Powerful in fact. That's the best news any day.

Cheers,[/quote]

19 by Virgolass
thanks. but really I think I've pinpointed my problem.

I always have one of three responses with men:

we don't get along, or there's no chemistry and we aren't suprised in the least when it fizzles out.

I think we get along, they shower me with compliments and seem very affectionate, and then vanish without a trace or explaination.

they become incredibly clingly borderline stalkers.

I think it's because there is somethign about me and that virgo stellium that screams "wife material". So men who are ready to settle down won't go away, and men who aren't ready to, through nothing i've done, panic because somewhere they are aware that a relationship with me will have to go deeper and that they can't be fickle and misbehave with me. Rather than deal with that, they disappear without a trace or an explaination.

Growing up is scary.

20 by kali
As the old saying goes, gotta kiss a lot of frogs before finding prince charming. :lala Gotta give you a lot of credit for putting your self out there. Enjoy the process.

kali

21 by SaturnReturn
I always have one of three responses with men:

we don't get along, or there's no chemistry and we aren't suprised in the least when it fizzles out.

I think we get along, they shower me with compliments and seem very affectionate, and then vanish without a trace or explaination.

they become incredibly clingly borderline stalkers.
For #1, there was no attraction. No loss.

For #2, Did you want a long term thing with them in the first place? Were they really going to be Mr. Right, or were you just looking for some company? Perhaps they realized that the relationship was becoming more serious and weren't ready so they disappeared before they got to know you enough to have to provide an explaination. I've done something like this a few times. It's cowardly, but I've dodged phonecalls, and not returned emails, etc. Its not that I didnt like the girl, I thought she was very nice, but I wasn't feeling a relationship with her, so rather than have to explain that and possibley hurt her feelings, I just avoided her until she went away. I know, I'm probably one of those insensitive jerks. :( Do you discuss with the person why you shouldn't date anymore? Seriously?

For #3, These guys obviously liked you... a lot! Take it as a compliment. You're obviously quite the lass!

I don't think I disagree with anyone or what they have said here, I just think you should be yourself with the person you date, otherwise you fall into all sorts of Neptune problems, which usually don't work out in the end. Shattered dreams.

See, if you would have sent the second joke, he might have liked it, he might have thought it was annoying. The dillema obviously caused you some stress. Now look at your opinion of him. Did it even matter? So next time be true to yourself and your desires, in the end at least you'll know you didnt compromise yourself for anyone, no matter what happens. He obviously didn't see what an awesome Virgolass you are! His loss. :)

Sorry to get all preachy, but I had to post. Sorry if I've overstepped my bounds.

Take care! :)
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