tanit,

it really is great if one can be on the best of terms, especially with one's immediate family... i figure if we can't be this way with our own family, it is going to be much more challenging to come together on the planet with people who aren't a part of our immediate family.

however, i know how difficult this is too.. i am reading carlos santanas autobiography right now and half way thru.. he is a sun in cancer - trop or sidereal, and saturn/pluto also in cancer sidereal... he speaks about his relationship with his mom and how challenging it was for him.. in spite of this, he found a way to be at peace with his mom and obviously admired her for her many strengths.. i think one of the tricks in life is to take the good and try to leave or downplay the bad that we believe we see in others.. it makes life easier if we can do that..

i hope at some point you reconnect with your mom if she is still alive.. she probably had a long list of challenges that are reflected in some of the poor decisions that define some of your relationship with her... in spite of that, i think you'd benefit from reconciling with her if it is possible..one can forgive, even if one doesn't forget... good luck with it all..

That is funny about the Leo conjunction showing being well dressed. I cannot speak for all Aries conjunctions but I am lucky if I shower every few days and brush my hair. I hate uncomfortable clothing and will almost never wear heels or have long nails (also because I play piano). I very rarely wear jewelry (maybe once per year) and usually wear minimal makeup unless it is a special occasion or if the moment strikes me.

James - I do not believe that just because someone is a family member means that you owe it to them to continuously allow them to infringe on your peace and happiness, and to relive the trauma of your upbringing (Pluto in the 4th, hitting all my angles). The older I get, the less I allow toxic people to remain in my life. I hear a lot of people tell me to make peace with my family members that I am estranged from, but they don't realize that I am a very perceptive and intuitive person and know what I am dealing with and what is best for me. Sometimes there is no peace, there is just acceptance. I think with Pluto in the 4th you have to destroy old patterns and move on or you will never move forward.

tanit,

i admire your objectivity and search for peace, or in the absence of that - acceptance.. we all have to figure it out on our own of course..

i have pluto square the angles on my chart as well - from the 10th whole sign, or 9th placidus..

My sister who left the family also had pluto in the 4th house. The more you study astrology the more you realize the pointlessness of telling people what they "should" do. People like giving advice. I read one fun study that concluded virtually NOBODY actually acts on the advice of others, even when they acknowledge it's sense. I think that's because on some deep level we already know what we are meant to do.

Interesting about your 4th house sister being similar regarding destroying the connection to move on. I have heard the same thing about advice and it is pretty obvious if you follow social media that few people are open to listening to others.

Pluto is a very powerful force in some charts and I do think in areas where it is really difficult it is better to destroy whatever is not working and either rebuild it from scratch if you can, or take a loss and move on. Otherwise with transits especially, you are going to keep repeating the same themes.