Hi all!,
My daughter has just asked this question,she has been going out with her boyfriend M for 10 months & now is interested in someone else,who's known her for a while. She likes L & he's older than her,but doesnt know whether to end the relationship with M & go out with L instead.
The difficulty I'm having is that my daughter's Significator is Mars & her boyfriend is Venus(L.7),& also Venus is L.11 the other guy as he's a friend.!!!
Do I use the Moon as her Sig.,L.1 as her boyfriend & L.7 as the other guy?
Any help would be appreciated,
Thanks in advance,
Wishes Saturngirl.

Hi Saturngirl
are there any planets in the houses 7th or 11th? If yes, I would used them as co-significators. or, alternately, the ruler of the sign intercepted in the houses (if there is interception). otherwise, I have no idea
wait! or maybe the ruler of the sign of Libra/Taurus decanate. I don't know if I make myself clear... for example, if the 7th cusp is say 24 degree Taurus, it's Capricorn decanate, so the co-ruler should be Saturn.
I don't know,it's just my idea

I'd question the question. What does she mean by "better"? You said that she has been going out with M for ten months and she likes L. Doesn't she like M at all? Do you know both men? Who do you prefer. Your daughter doesn't seem to know which one she prefers. When you sort out these few things maybe a better worded question may be in order. Hope I have helped. PS
As a mother and astrologer beware cos you may get the blame for her future!


Stan

Hi Saturngirl,

I understand your daughter's question as "Should I go on with the new guy (the one who is older than her)?

As this is a relationship question and the querent is a female, the querent is represented in order of priority by L1, the Moon and finally Venus.

The new guy, the prospective other is represented similarly in order of importance by L7 and the Sun.

Look to these significators, their condition and check if there is any applying aspect between primary significators first.Check also L10 (4th from the 7th) and condition of Venus, a general significator of 'relationships' to assess the end/future of this relationship.

Good luck to you and your daughter

Sigma

Hi

What struck me first in the chart is the applying opposition between L1 and the Moon. Your daughter may be thinking highly of him(the L1 receives his sig Venus in its exaltation) but if we take the approach suggested by Sigma,

I understand your daughter's question as "Should I go on with the new guy (the one who is older than her)?

the oppostion suggests difficulties, or some discomfort if she goes out with him, especially because there are no aspects/reception between them.

But all in all, it seems to me the question can be answered much more easily by looking at the natal charts of M and L

With Venus, the 7th-ruler, combust in the 8th house, and with ascendant-ruler Mars cadent, directly opposite Neptune, and receiving an opposition from the Moon, it looks like your daughter it set for a very emotionally confusing and difficult period. I see those aspects as relating to the situation she has been and currently is in ? hence I see them as descriptive of the relationship with the current boyfriend, and I think they describe that as painful, and coming to the point of separation. I don?t think the issue is really about what happens next with the other guy, but it?s more about how she exits this relationship and deals with all the guilt, anger and confusion that is surrounding her. (The picture to me is that the relationship is uncomfortable and to all intents and purposes 'over', but she lacks the strength of mind to make the final snip).

The trouble is when judging horaries for people that you are emotionally involved with,is hard need another's opinion!!

Yes, and as an astrologer you need to be emotionally detached, and mother?s are not programmed to be emotionally detached! Probably one good reason to tell her that this is but one of many moral dilemma?s she is going to have to face up to, so the most important thing is that she learns to understand her own mind, and then braves what she knows is right.

If that sounds like a bit of a cop-out, it?s maybe because I got used to saying something like that to my own children when they were teenagers. I don?t believe that mothers make good astrologers because part of our job is to stand back waiting to catch them when they fall down. I also think Victoria Wood got it 'spot on' when she sang:

?I?m willing to sacrifice, to make sure they have things nice,
I?ll give them such good advice they?ll absolutely hate my guts ?.?

my advice to her was to think carefully about possibly asking another question which has a bit more clarity.

I think what you are doing here is nudging her along the path of identifying what her feelings are and what the problem really is; then not only will the chart be clearer, but she will (hopefully) already know the answer anyway

Hi Deb,
Thanks so much for your reply. It explains my daughter's situation exactly!!She has wanted to finish with M for a while,but does lack the courage to do it,as she doesn't want to hurt his feelings..she also has a Moon , Neptune square in her own Nativity! She is only 16 & M is 15.
She is due to begin college in September,whilst M still has another year at school & wants to move on with her life. So there are big changes occurring for her & she is certainly feeling very confused!
I did find it difficult to judge Deb,in the respect that telling her their relationship wasn't looking like it was going to last,was too upsetting!! I felt too emotionally involved with it.
Thanks again,for your judgment,as it gave me the confidence I was lacking in my own judgment,as I felt that I couldn't read it without hurting her feelings.
She has read your reply & is feeling a lot happier now & has decided to give herself some space from him.
Best Wishes,
love Saturngirl.x