Last Resort Synastry
Posted: Sun Sep 05, 2004 11:36 am
Hi guys,
Have been reading the Novile thread and couldn't resist resurrecting this little piece of satire, which I posted on another forum a couple of years ago. Just a bit of fun
Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin....
You know what it's like. Your eyes meet across a crowded room. Your
heart flutters not a little. And in no time at all you're involved in
animated conversation and a passionate embrace. But, hold on - you're an
astrologer remember, so the first thing you do is grab his birth details
(no, no, you can grab the other bits later!) and rush to the computer.
"You want to look at his chart?" Do I heck! Who cares about his chart?!
No, what I want to see is the ***Synastry***
Hmmm, a few nice contacts here and there but..oh
a few not-so-nice
contacts also, but never mind, we can ignore those for the moment and go
back and check them when the rose-tinted phase is over (in about 3 - 6
months' time on average). However, no Mars/Venus contacts
Not to worry, we've got the Composite to look at yet - and yes, there is some juicy stuff there but...still no sign of that elusive Venus/Mars aspect. Nil desperandum! Time to consult Draconics and Midpoints...
Draconic-Draconic, Natal-Draconic, Draconic-Natal. His midpoints to my
natal, my midpoints to his.... Damn! We now have virtually every planet
and point in both charts aspecting each other, in some instances several
times over. But still the Mars/Venus eludes us....
Time for desperate measures. I reach for the top shelf and find my
trusty guide, "Very Obscure Aspects" (or "Last Resort Synastry"). And
there at last, as a footnote on page 69, I find it! The
trisepticnovilovidovisextile!! YESSSSSS! Blissful rapture! My Venus is
triseptilovidoviwotsit his Mars! Oh dear, it's 3 degrees wide of exact
But I don't care! It still counts, so he must be the love of my life. I knew it. We will live happily ever after
ok, you can wake up now
Have been reading the Novile thread and couldn't resist resurrecting this little piece of satire, which I posted on another forum a couple of years ago. Just a bit of fun
Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin....
You know what it's like. Your eyes meet across a crowded room. Your
heart flutters not a little. And in no time at all you're involved in
animated conversation and a passionate embrace. But, hold on - you're an
astrologer remember, so the first thing you do is grab his birth details
(no, no, you can grab the other bits later!) and rush to the computer.
"You want to look at his chart?" Do I heck! Who cares about his chart?!
No, what I want to see is the ***Synastry***
Hmmm, a few nice contacts here and there but..oh
a few not-so-nicecontacts also, but never mind, we can ignore those for the moment and go
back and check them when the rose-tinted phase is over (in about 3 - 6
months' time on average). However, no Mars/Venus contacts
Not to worry, we've got the Composite to look at yet - and yes, there is some juicy stuff there but...still no sign of that elusive Venus/Mars aspect. Nil desperandum! Time to consult Draconics and Midpoints...
Draconic-Draconic, Natal-Draconic, Draconic-Natal. His midpoints to my
natal, my midpoints to his.... Damn! We now have virtually every planet
and point in both charts aspecting each other, in some instances several
times over. But still the Mars/Venus eludes us....
Time for desperate measures. I reach for the top shelf and find my
trusty guide, "Very Obscure Aspects" (or "Last Resort Synastry"). And
there at last, as a footnote on page 69, I find it! The
trisepticnovilovidovisextile!! YESSSSSS! Blissful rapture! My Venus is
triseptilovidoviwotsit his Mars! Oh dear, it's 3 degrees wide of exact
But I don't care! It still counts, so he must be the love of my life. I knew it. We will live happily ever after
ok, you can wake up now
Are you sure it's not a bus number?